Thursday, October 19, 2017

Which Side Are You On?

Alas, Colston is now in disrepute in this crazy time of asinine politically correctness…for being a successful slave trader. People forget that in his day slave trading was perfectly respectable like buying and selling motor cars today! However, Colston was also a philanthropist who helped a lot of people, and gave great sums of money to the city of Bristol. How about Jardine Matheson of Hong Kong selling Opium to China in the days of “gunboat diplomacy” then??? Do you want to close down Jardine Matheson???

.....The asinine politically correct Libtards fail to take into account that Colston Hall was built almost 150 years after Colton’s death, and was actually named after its address, which is Colston Street. I for one, to be brutally frank am not into political correctness aka hypocrisy. To me it is a load of Balderdash! I digress…so..

.... I decided to make an enquiry to Bristol Cathedral and got a reply from their very politically correct Press Officer…Wendy Matthews (*)

....Mark [owner of a coffee shop in Bristol] please make the Colston Bun! It will be a best seller! You can call it Bristol Bun to be politically correct…wahahahah!

All quotes from "The Search For The Colston Bun" by The Travelling Gourmet

(*)i.e female


Mike Taylor said...

"People forget that in his day slave trading was perfectly respectable like buying and selling motor cars today!"

I'm calling it. You've started making these up now. No-one would seriously write that. No-one.

Andrew Rilstone said...

This is from a website, not the evening post. You can follow the link. There is always a suspicion that this kind of thing is an Onion style hoax, but I don't think so.

It's interesting, by the way, how much he undermines his own argument: saying "everyone in Bristol loves Colston, celebrates Colston day and eats Colston buns, but now the PC brigade want to stop them" while going from bakery to bakery trying to buy a Colston bun and being greeted with a consistent "What's one of them, then?"

Andrew Stevens said...

This is from a website, not the evening post. You can follow the link. There is always a suspicion that this kind of thing is an Onion style hoax, but I don't think so.

Aren't you English always making fun of us Americans for not being able to recognize "irony"?

He also says:

"In Bath, you have the Bath Bun. In Cambridge you have the Chelsea Bun in my favourite Tea Shoppe…Fitzbillies! I wanted to taste the Colston Bun of Bristol and so I began my quest by going to the OLDEST Coffee House in Bristol. I had been advised by people from Bristol Tourism that it was not a salubrious place and best avoided. A good friend, Gwynneth, and Sian, her daughter, told me, 'It’s full of hippies!'.

"Nonetheless, I went to Café Revival, with my adrenaline pumping, ready to fight off murderous gangs of long haired Marijuana smoking Hippies and violent beer bottle wielding Yobbos. I strolled into Café Revival and sat at the corner table with my back to the wall…so no drug crazed Hippie could creep up on me…Checking for improvised weapons of opportunity, I was reassured to find I was well armed if the need arose… Your training is always a part of you."

Read that twice and get back to me.

Andrew Stevens said...

By the way, no genuine criticism intended. It happens to the best of us.

Andrew Rilstone said...

Yes, but apart from Mark Twain, Ambrose Bierce, Groucho Marx, Woody Allan, Joseph Heller and the entire cast of Friends, the Americans don't have a sense of irony...

I am genuinely not sure in this case. Look at some of the other articles.

-- If you know martial arts and kill someone, you should hope for "a sympathetic judge who is not a libtard democrat"; the idea that you should always try to incapacitate or kill opponents "Unpalatable to libtards but the truth is the truth.


He likes John Wayne's movie "The Green Beret" because it "gives the other side of the war against the communist subversive propaganda from peaceniks, hippies, libtards, cowards and pro-VC (Vietcong) sympathizers like evil despicable vile and ugly jane fonda the scumbag.

He writes a breathtakingly offensive review of the movie "Sandstorm", which is about love an marriage in Bedouin community, warning that "libtards" (again) shouldn't read the piece. He describes the film as being about "A dysfunctional Bedouin family that is so imprisoned by archaic and asinine and moronic tribal cultures and beliefs and customs is showcased here." The review concludes: "Moronic libtard democRAT morons and looney clooney should see this movie. Pseudo feminists and hollywood cretins go see this movie and then go to Iran and Saudi Arabia where women are not allowed to drive cars…and never come back Wahahaha!"

He also goes on and on and on about something called political correctness, which he seems to be believe is literally real:

"MONGOLIANS live in an animal skin tent with an interior support called a Ger, a bit like the red Indian Wigwams…politically incorrect…Native Americans, what the hell, Red Indians sounds better to me! Wahahahah! I am not known for being politically correct"

A great chef doesn't need a Michelin star: "All he or she needs are people who love his or her ( how I detest being politically correct; leave out the she and I am a misogynist) food and keep coming back for more!"

" You can even cook ‘politically correct’ Foie Gras now."

"What makes [Daniel Craig] unsuitable as Bond is his face, which to put it in a politically correct manner is aesthetically challenged."

I guess he might be keeping all this up (on what is ostensibly a food blog) as a joke; although the perpetual use of "retard" as a term of abuse is quite nasty and schoolboyish even if it's meant to be funny. I tend to the position that if you can't tell whether someone is a foul mouthed mean spirited idiot or someone pretending to be a foul mouthed mean spirited idiot for comic effect, then they probably are a duck.

But as Oscar Wilde said: "Sarcasm? Oh yeah, that's a REALLY high form of wit."

Andrew Stevens said...

Fair point. There's no question in my mind that he does it as a joke, but it is possible that he is going over the top with his own opinions for comic effect. He appears to be a late middle aged Vietnamese man (I would have said Korean based on the surname, but friends of his comment on his blog in Vietnamese) and it seems pretty clear that English is a second language for him, which probably doesn't help matters in determining whether and to what extent he is kidding.

Andrew Stevens said...

Perhaps he learned English exclusively from reading The Daily Mail?