Showing posts with label Hugh Walters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hugh Walters. Show all posts

Thursday, November 20, 2025

The Bringer of Dreams

First Contact?
by Hugh Walters

The latest instalment of my occasional series looking back on a series of science fiction novels you almost definitely read if you were at school in the 1970s. 

This volume raises some weightier than usual questions, and I respectfully suggested the long-than-usual essay may be of interest to people who don't remember the Chris Godfrey series.











VII: The Chief End of Man

Previous Section 

What on Earth or Uranus does Hugh Walters think he is doing?

I don’t think the God-talk can be written off as window dressing or plot machinery. You could write a perfectly good story about benevolent aliens without recourse to theology. First Contact? might work better if the Alien was an ambassador from a secular Galactic Federation, as opposed to the emissary of God Almighty. But Walters takes quite a lot of trouble to go through the religious arguments at a pace nine-year-olds will be able to keep up with. I think that the Supreme Being interests him in a way that fast than light tachyon gravity networks really don’t.

Could he be pushing back against Star Trek? The BBC's first run of the original series had come to an end in 1971. Gene Roddenbury’s humanist message was that you should always reject any being with theological pretensions. It is a far, far better thing to die in an atomic war or a plague than to acknowledge that Apollo has some claim over you. Perhaps this is why Chris Godfrey’s American friend makes the reckless decision to nuke the site from orbit? It’s exactly what James T Kirk would have done.

You can see why an Anglican writer of boys’ space-adventures might want to tell the kids that science and religion are not in conflict. But is Walters seeking to inject some spirituality into science — to say that the feelings we feel when we think of Jesus and the Angels could equally well be directed towards Aliens and flying saucers? Or is he trying to drag religion down to science’s level — by saying that all those Bible stories and Norse sagas have perfectly rational explanations?

The great attraction of Von Daniken is that he gives us permission to believe that the Bible is literally true. Ezekiel really did see a wheel in a wheel, way up in the middle of the air. A sweet chariot really did come for to carry Elijah home. But it does this at the cost of removing their specifically religious significance. The chariots of fire are really only very advanced aircraft. Angels' halos are really only space helmets. When Von Daniken asks “Was God an astronaut?” he means “Was God merely an astronaut?”

And that is the problem that Hugh Walters thinks he has solved. Advanced extraterrestrials are by definition closer to God than humans. God is the most advancedist extraterrestrial of all. If the Uranus Alien is literally an emissary of the Supreme Being, then he is as near to being an actual Angel as makes no difference. Moses and Gabriel were under-cover agents of the Supreme Being. So, presumably, was Gautama. It wouldn’t be difficult to fit J.C into the picture: maybe he’s literally the Supreme Being’s son. Or the Supreme Being travelling incognito.

Joyful all ye nations rise, God and Science reconciled.

Rev Beckwith’s God (in the Doctor Who book) is a deist demiurge whose job is to explain the complexity of the universe. Walters sees, correctly, that science has made an explanatory God redundant. In principle, you can understand how the universe works without recourse to a supernatural creator. But he also sees that a purely scientific world-view throws out the teleological star-baby with the explanatory bath-water. His Supreme Being doesn’t tell us how the Universe works, but what it is for: its purpose and objective. Rev Beckwith’s God is a moral force: he’s there to reassure us that the goodies will always beat the baddies in Episode Six. Walters’ Supreme Being is only indirectly moral. He certainly wants humans to be wise and sensible because if they blow themselves up they will stop evolving. But the Supreme Being doesn't specially want us to be good. The objective of evolution is to evolve. Walters' religion is the worship of progress per se. Walters stated several times that he wrote science fiction “to inspire the young people of today to be the scientists and technicians of tomorrow.” And it seems that this is the meaning of life: the whole purpose for which the universe was invented.

If Chris had not met the Alien, might he have decided that space-exploration was pointless and the human race might as well stagnate? After his memory was wiped, did he feel the urge to drop out of UNEXA and go and live in an arts-and-crafts commune? Walters’ has created a truly Anglican Supreme Being. He is the God Who Makes No Difference; the God who enjoins you to carry on doing exactly what you would have been doing in any case.

VI: The Most Tremendous Tale of All

Previous Section

Chariots of the Gods
(published in 1968) set out to debunk religion. Primitive Man saw spaceships and aliens and mistook them for angels and deities. Christianity and Judaism are on precisely the same level as a Pacific Island cargo cult.

But not everyone who read or heard about the book took it that way. Von Daniken intended to say that what we thought were divine beings were really only extraterrestrials. But his effect on the popular imagination was to give extra-terrestrial visitors the aura of the divine. UFOs could sit alongside leylines and astrology as part of the smorgasbord spirituality of the Age of Aquarius.

Arthur C Clarke said that any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic. The corollary is that any fanciful story about magic might turn out to be a perfectly true story about advanced science. And for some people, this is a comforting thought. There might, after all, be a Santa Claus: it’s just that we slightly misunderstood his nature. If God was an Astronaut, then Astronauts may be a kind of god.

2001: A Space Odyssey (published in the same year as Von Daniken) leans heavily into the space-god mythos. Arthur C Clark would, I assume, have regarded “intelligent design” as pure pseudo-science. But the movie uses the idea of paleocontact to salvage some human exceptionalism from the Darwinian wreckage. Humans aren’t just clever monkeys that happened to have evolved in a particular way. They were deliberately taught tool-making by an enigmatic alien visitor. And the visitor had a purpose in mind: it wants humans to find their way to Jupiter so it can force them to evolve again. Natural selection isn't the whole story: there has to be Something Else. The movie, at any rate, gives no hints as to the nature of that Other Thing it just shows us an enigmatic blank slab, onto which we are free to project God or Science or Magic or Whatever The Heck We Like.

You might think that the idea that Aliens gave rise to the idea of Angels — that Moses came up with the idea of YHWH because he didn't know what a spaceship was —would be roundly condemned by theists as blasphemy of the highest order. But it seems that some Christians and even some clergymen just stroked their dog-collars and said “Maybe so.”


“If we ask ‘what has religion got to do with science fiction’, the answer is ‘everything’ 

So wrote one Rev John D Beckwith in a 1972 paperback called The Making of Doctor Who. We have talked about this momentous little publication before: it was the first Whovian reference book ever published; the only source of information on the early years most of us had before Jeremy Bentham started cranking out xeroxes. 

Why on earth was a C of E vicar asked to contribute an essay to a book which was mainly about special effects, Bill Hartnell’s CV and how they filmed the Sea Devils? I think that there is a pretty clear answer to that question. 

The Making of Doctor Who also contained an earnest little essay, presumably by Terrence Dicks, about the “science” in “science fiction”. It explains the TARDIS’s dimensions in terms of flat-landers, cubes and tesseracts; and points out that strange things happen to time when you approach the speed of light. It tells us, wrongly, that people in olden times believed that if you sailed far enough you would fall off the edge of the world: but it makes the much better point that although we know the world is round, we largely feel that it is flat. It blows our mind by telling us about non-Euclidian geometry: if you travel a hundred miles East, a hundred miles South, a hundred miles West and a hundred miles North, you don’t end up back where you started, because the surface of the earth is curved! And if you cut an orange into eight  segments, you end up with “a triangle with a square corner”. (Rather delightfully, my copy of the book has half-century old orange juice stains on the pages!)

I am afraid Dicks wanted us to draw rather anti-scientific conclusions from all this. We shouldn’t laugh at the sailors who thought the world was flat because some of our ideas might be wrong too. If we can be surprised by four-dimensional cubes and the geometry of curved surfaces, then might there not be all sorts of perspectives from which even more surprising things could be true? So, Daleks and sonic-screwdrivers — why not? It is a hand-wave which has turned up often enough in Doctor Who scripts. Bumblebees would be unable to fly if they were fixed winged aircraft, therefore aerodynamics is false, therefore you can believe anything you want to believe about anything.

The essay also introduces young readers to Femi’s paradox. Space is big, right? So “lets be gloomy” and assume that only one star in a hundred has a planet going round it and only one planet in a hundred as life on it and only one life-form in a hundred is intelligent and only one intelligent life form in a hundred has space ships….then (what with space being so big) that’s still a thousand space-going civilisations in Our-Galaxy-Alone.

So where the hell are they?

Dicks has two theories.

1: Those thousand space faring civilisations have got a hundred thousand million stars to check up on (in Our-Galaxy-Alone). And it takes an awfully long time to travel between them. (Did I mention that space was big?) So doubtless they’ll get around to visiting Earth in the next thousand years.

2: Maybe they have visited us in the past, but we didn’t spot them, because we weren’t “scientific enough”.

As evidence, Dicks points, not to the Pyramids or the Nascar lines, but to a book he calls The Holy Bible (in italics). He quotes the passage about the Four Living Creatures of Ezekiel. Aliens, obviously. He could also have pointed to the “wheel in the wheel” which “went up on their four sides and turned not when they went.” No less a person than Eugene H Peterson thinks that sounds a lot like a gyroscope.

And surely this is why they found a Vicar to say some nice things about Doctor Who on the final pages of the book? We have just, pretty blasphemously, claimed that one of the people who wrote the actual Bible — one of the people who, according to Christians, foretold the coming of Jesus — was an ignorant savage who couldn’t tell a four-headed ET from a Seraphim.

So here is the Reverend Beckwith to provide some balance.

Human beings have always looked up at the sky and made up stories, right? So Greek and Roman myths about the sun and the moon are in a very real sense a kind of olden days science fiction. And scientists and science fiction writers wonder what the universe is like, don’t they? Which is in a very real sense the same thing as the people of the Old Testament “looking for god in the heavens”. And get this — Christians think that Time and Space was made by God! So exploring Time and Space is in a very real sense the same as learning about God, isn’t it? And you know who else talked about Time and Space? Jesus! He told his followers that “God can be found and seen in everything around them” and also that “it is no good looking for God way out in space if we don’t recognise him in our familiar surroundings.” (Er…Citation needed.) Space exploration is a Good Thing, because it helps us understand that the Universe “can only have been planned by something greater than Man himself.” If we discover non-human sentient beings in Space, then God made them as well. The Bible totally says there are angels, who are certainly non-human and certainly sentient. So you could say that they are in a very real sense, “the first spacemen”. “Some people” even think the idea of angels came from alien visitations. And Doctor Who fights bad guys, which “proves that there is one basic Truth in God’s creations, and this is that the most valuable and worthwhile thing is goodness”. That is, in a very real sense, the point of Christianity, that good things are good and bad things are bad and good will win out in the end. We will now sing hymn number 425, All Things Bright and Beautiful…

Dicks’ essay was entitled “Could It All Be True?” But perhaps “It” doesn’t just refer to Zarbi and Silurians and boxes that are bigger on the inside than the outside, but the burning bush and the manna from heaven and the star of Bethlehem as well? The transition from Dicks talking about Ezekiel on page 108 and the Rev. saying that science fiction and Christianity were basically the same thing on page 109 doesn’t amount to a coherent argument: but it planted the idea in my head. The answer to both questions might very well be “Yes”. It evoked a mental mood in which watching Doctor Who on Saturday and going to Sunday School on Sunday were not incompatible and that reading Chris Godfrey stories and reading Every Boys Book of Bible Stories were not contradictory. I think that for the next decade (from the age of about nine to the age of about nineteen) I pretty much took it for granted that Kubrick’s "Dawn of Man" was more or less the literal truth; and that that literal truth was more or less what the book of Genesis “really meant”.

As has been said before: it was not a very healthy state of mind to be in. I was one of the Brainy People who the Man in the Street looked down on; but I was also one of the enlightened modern scientists, free from the arrogance of the pharisaical Victorians. I could listen to the preacher preaching and say “Aha; he doesn’t know he is really talking about aliens”, but I could read a science fiction writer talking about aliens and say “Aha, but the writer doesn’t know he is really talking about God.”

In 1963, the Rev JAT Robinson famously conceded that science had proven that God did not exist, but that it was okay to carry on worshipping a non-existent being because “God” really meant “whatever is most true and most important.” When you say that “God is love” you really mean that love is the most really, really, real thing that there is and you are definitely in favour of it" Robinson’s book was entitled Honest to God. Rev Beckwith’s essay was rather pointedly entitled “Honest to Doctor Who”.

Next Section.

V: Who Mourns for Adonis?

Previous Section 

If this were an adult science fiction novel — and I fully grok that it is not — I think we would expect it to develop in one of the following directions.

A: The Aliens are monstrous, with horrifying personal habits and weird Lovecraftian names. The astronauts assume they are evil: but it turns out that Whiskers is right and they are super-evolved space Christs.

B: The Aliens are beautiful and perfectly good: so much so that they regard humans as a blight on the Universe and intend to wipe us out.

C: The Aliens appear to be beautiful and perfectly good, But in fact they are so advanced that they regard humans as moderately interesting bacteria, and their long term plan involves turning us into perfume and baking the remains into pies.

D: The Aliens really are good and beautiful. But they have no concept of ethics, no moral code, and positively deny the existence of God, leaving everything theologically confused.

But this is a kids' book: and within a few pages of their encounter, the Alien confirms that all Whiskers speculations are true. Life really exists on millions of planets. There really is a quality called “development” and older worlds have more of it and younger worlds don’t have so much. And development really does have an end-point and a destination. 

“At the apex of all this, somewhere, is what we can call the Supreme Intelligence, directing and guiding your World, my World, and countless others too.”

“That—that’s God!” gasped Colin.

“Then there is a Deity?” Chris burst out.

But the Supreme Intelligence is not a Creator or a Designer, although it is indirectly influencing and guiding evolution. The Ultimate Question which he can answer is not "how?" but "why?"

“All are evolving towards the Ultimate: towards the Supreme Intelligence. Otherwise, why should Life evolve at all?”


Why should life evolve at all?

Back on their human's spaceship, Walters introduces us to what might be called Chris’s Wager: "God exists because I would like God to exist." Or, less cynically “It is desirable that there should be a God; therefore I might as will proceed as if there is one.” (Socrates, in fairness, said very much the same thing.) 

“The scheme of things as outlined by the Alien was so attractive and exciting, made life so worthwhile and logical, that if it wasn’t true Chris didn’t want to know. If life was just a chance development amid universal chaos, it seemed a waste. If it had no purpose or objective then all the highest incentives to progress were just self-deception. How flat everything would now seem if all that [the Alien] had said were untrue.“

But wasn’t Chris already a pious church-goer before he encountered the Alien? What new element does rebranding God as the Supreme Intelligence add to his life?

The Alien has one more tbombshell to drop. This is not the first time his race has visited our solar system:

“We have sent our emissaries to live among you. They have been as you are and have lived as you do. Of course your people did not realise that we were from another world. Usually they thought we were the prophets and teachers of your own world.”

Tony immediately connects this with UFO reports, and theorises that “the ancients” might have mistaken aliens for divine beings. He goes so far as to say that there are passages in the Bible which might refer to spaceships.

When asked to explain human religious beliefs to the Alien, Chris admits that among “civilised” people, theism is in decline. He does not say that the better we have understood the Universe, the less we have relied on God for explanations. He doesn’t say that we stopped believing in Adam and Eve once we understood natural selection; or that once we knew about microbes and viruses, we stopped attributing sickness to the devil. He looks at it in terms of a cosmic hierarchy of Greatness. In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, humans rejected God because they believed that humans now knew everything and would soon be all-powerful. We're invited to look at Victorian scepticism about God in the same light as the Man in the Street's scepticism about extraterrestrial life: a hubristic belief that Man Is Tops.

“As we thought we were wresting Nature’s secrets away from her, so belief in God began to crumble. Given time, man could know everything and would be all-powerful.”

But it is again the Brainy Chaps who have seen the fallacy of this:

“For every new discovery that was made, complete understanding seemed to have become further away. Gradually, I think we are losing the arrogance that made us see Man as the be-all and end-all of creation.”

Atheism is the arrogant believe that the human mind is supreme; theism, the humble acknowledgement that it is not. Chris's story is a variation of the one in the Bible. Pride is the root of every sin. Man tastes the fruit of the tree of knowledge and believes that he can become as gods, knowing good from evil.

IV: Life, the Universe and Everything

Previous Section

On page 89 of the book old “Whiskers”, the comic relief ex-Battle of Britain duffer tells Lord Benson, out of the blue “I think there must be a God.”

Benson does not reply “Well, of course you do, you’re British, dammit.”

Neither does he reply “Since we have attended Holy Communion together, I rather took that for granted.”

On the contrary, Benson is rather embarrassed. He thinks that religion is “something which one didn’t talk about” — despite having literally knelt down and prayed out loud with the teenage Chris in the first volume. One wonders who all those silent prayers that he keeps uttering have been directed at?

Whiskers explains his thinking. 

“...the universe is older and more complicated than the human mind can conceive. It’s older than we can imagine even if we accept the big bang theory of its creation….” 

and so on at some length. In summary, his argument goes like this:

1: The Universe is big.
2: The Universe is old.
3: The Universe is complex.
4: The Universe is ordered.
5: Humans do not understand the Universe.
6: Therefore Humans are not the greatest thing in the Universe
7: Therefore something greater than Humans must exist.

I am not sure he actually needed to bother with stages 1-6. If there is extraterrestrial life, then it must by definition be either a: greater than humans b: less great than humans or c: about equal to humans. And if there are a huge number of extraterrestrial life forms, then it is highly probable that at least one of them must be our superior. The proposition is actually “If we are not the only thing in the universe, then we are almost certainly not the greatest thing in it.”

But is there any extraterrestrial life at all? Walters explains that someone called “the man in the street”, relying on something called “common sense” is entirely skeptical about it.

“If these brainy chaps wanted to believe that, then let them. Mr Ordinary Man knew better. He felt in his bones that he was ‘the tops’. How could there be a higher form of life, he asked himself proudly as he looked around at his pubs and bingo halls, his motor cars and tinned foods, his palaces and slums.”

The Man in the Street does not point to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony or King Lear as proof of man’s superiority: this is the voice of grammar school educated British Interplanetary Society member sneering at the plebs who only made it to Secondary Modern. But It’s a decent enough device for getting readers on side. Obviously, we all want to be on the side of the Brainy Chaps.

We aren’t told what the man-in-the-street thinks about religion: but we get a brief insight into what Brainy Chaps think. Benson, it turns out, is strictly agnostic. He thinks that the universe has three qualities

1: Complexity
2: Beauty
3: Infinite wonder.

It isn’t clear if he thinks that complexity is intrinsically beautiful, or if there could have been a universe was beautiful and simple, or one which was complicated but ugly. It also isn’t clear if “wonder”, “complexity” and “beauty” are intrinsic properties that the universe has, or merely descriptions of human beings reaction to it. But he does think that they might imply that there is a “thing” that “lies behind” the universe.

He does not think that this Thing, if it exists, would have explanatory power. He does not say that the universe is so complicated, beautiful and wonderful that some Thing even more complicated, beautiful and wonderful must have had a hand in the design of it. But if such a Thing exists, we can reasonably ask what the Universe is for. The existence of the Thing implies that the universe has a “meaning” and that there is a “direction in which it is moving.”

It is trivially true that if Man is not the greatest thing in the universe, then something greater than Man must exist. And if there are many things in the Universe and many degrees of greatness, one Thing must necessarily be the greatest of all. But it is by no means the case that "the greatest thing which happens to exist" is also the "greatest thing which could possibly exist". But we seem to have agreed that "the greatest thing which happens to exist" can reasonably be given the name "God". 

Whiskers reasoning goes beyond Benson’s

1: A race with more complicated machines and greater scientific understanding can be said to be more advanced than one without those things.
2: An older race must have been developing longer than a younger race.
3: An older race must have been evolving for longer than a younger race — indeed, it must be "more evolved".
4: Advancement, development and evolution all imply an increase in greatness.
5: The thing with the most greatness is called God.
6: Therefore older races must be closer to God than younger ones.
7: God is by definition good.
8: Therefore older races must necessarily be more good than younger ones, and our heroes have nothing to fear from the aliens.

Whiskers is, in fact, conflating “greatness” with “goodness”: he is assuming that “more advanced” is synonymous with “better”. We could label this Taylor’s Fallacy: “Somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man”.

Sir Billy, who has replaced Sir George as head of UNEXA, points out that evolution is not a matter of linear improvement: “many other things” apart from the human mind has evolved. But Whiskers refutes this — there have been “set backs and side tracks” but the “trend” has always been towards greater intelligence. The arc of evolution is long, but it bends towards Prof Albert Einstein. 

This is indeed the view of evolution promulgated in 1970s school text books which tended to show chimpanzees turning into stockbrokers and codfish turning into triceratops as automatically as kittens turn into pussy cats and tadpoles turn into frogs. A scientific theory about change and adaptation has morphed into a narrative about inevitable improvement. This provided Creationists with a convenient stick with which to beat Charles Darwin: since the "inevitable improvement" theory was obviously silly, the whole idea of evolution was obviously fake news.

“What you are saying,” Lord Benson interposed “is that because [the Alien] must come from an older race, it must necessarily be from a more advanced and intelligent race. That evolution is always towards a higher plane, is always an advance.”

“Something like that.” Whiskers agreed…”Evolution has a definite direction and objective” he declared firmly. “I believe it is towards God himself.”

And later

“So what you are saying is that because this Alien comes from a far more technically advanced civilisation than ours, from a race that must have been evolving far longer than ours, they must be nearer and more like God than we are?” Lord Benson enquired.

So: we have a hypothesis. Because the Alien is technologically superior to humans, it must necessarily be morally superior to humans as well. 

And back on the surface of Planetty McPlanettface, we see the hypothesis being tested.

III: Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Previous Section 

The boffins have detected peculiar signals coming from...Planetty MacPlanetFace. No-one can listen to the signals for very long without getting a blinding migraine. Since it is unlikely that something so mindbogglingly annoying could have evolved purely by chance, the boffins conclude that Someone must be trying very hard to get our attention. So not one but two space ships are sent to investigate.

The previous volume, Nearly Neptune, ended on a small cliffhanger: Chris Godfrey was offered the job of deputy director of UNEXA on condition he gave up being an astronaut. We have already been told that astronauts retire at the age of forty, and it is very hard to see how he can be less than thirty-seven at this point. First Contact? begins in media res with the mission already well under way. It turns out that Chris is in command for one last trip. The American One, the Russian One, and the Working Class One from the previous volumes are all present and correct, and the empty spaces are filled by The Welsh One, the Scots One, the Bald One and the Not-Bald One. They really aren’t characterised beyond this. Mervyn Williams (really) has a poetic soul. During a space walk he intones “Beautiful it is, like a great black mantle with diamonds sewn all over it”. This is very much the kind of book in which people "intone" things. They also "splutter" them, "gasp" them and "murmur" them. But they hardly ever just "say" them.

A charming sense of amateurism pervades the proceedings. No-one seems to have given a moment’s consideration to what Chris will actually do if he encounters Aliens. You might think some diplomats, heads of state, anthropologists and even philosophers would be on hand to advise him, but everyone is fine with the chaps on the rocket-ship just winging it.

The unstated assumption seems to be that astronauts are a special class of human being, and that only someone who is good at “being an astronaut” can possibly be sent into space. It’s a little like the idea that there is a quality called “the right stuff” — quite distinct from aptitude — and it is that which makes someone a great test-pilot. Certainly our heroes have technical know-how — we are told that the ship has banks of hard to understand controls — but plot points always turn on things which the boffins on Earth and Tony (the Working Class one) on the space ship have cobbled together. When the strange sounds being emitted by Planetty McPlanetface render communication between the two ships impossible, Tony improvises a morse code machine from bits and pieces on the ships. The Boffs on earth borrow one from a museum. Sir George Benson (the outgoing director) works out how the signals work by playing them to himself in his back garden, moving his wheel chair to various distances to calculate the range of the migraine effect. He has to go down the road to the electrical shop to buy an extension cable!

These kinds of details make it easy for us to put ourselves in the heroes' place, and imagine that we ourselves are out there enjoying all the diamonds and black velvet. During the communication crisis, Tony decides that the best thing to do is make a space-walk to the other ship and explain the problem to them face-to-face; and Walters takes us slowly through him putting on the space suit, stepping out of the air-lock, navigating his way through empty space... It’s not the only way of writing for kids, but it works. It’s very much the technique which makes Enid Blyton and JK Rowling so compelling for anyone under the age of eleven and so unbearable for anyone older. 

So: the boys land on Planetty McPlanetface. There really is an Alien space craft there — all knobbly and un-aerodynamic and without a proper door. Communications are established and the Alien invites a delegation aboard for a face-to-face meeting.

The ship turns out to come from another solar system, where there is no death, no gravity, and a different shaped gear-stick on the Mini Metro. It doesn’t need doors because Aliens have mastered the art of walking through walls. It travels faster than the speed of light along concentrated gravity beams that criss-cross the galaxy. The Alien itself is aloof, but friendly and humanoid and good looking. The Not-Bald-One thinks he looks like an archangel, although the Bald-One points out the Lucifer was a fallen angel.

Chris takes the Alien at its word. But Morey (the American one) thinks Chris has trusted the angelic extraterrestrial far too easily and probably been mind-controlled. When Chris and the others do not return from their second sojourn on the vessel, he decides that the most sensible course of action would be to blow up the Alien Spaceship and return home. He plans to take control of one of the Earth ships and go kamikaze. Nothing we know about Morey has given us any reason to think that he would be this reckless. I was kind of waiting for the revelation that he was the one who had been hypnotised.

The Alien of course, knows what is happening immediately. He takes control of the suicide ship and it bounces harmlessly off his force-field. But far from sending Morey to stand outside the headmaster’s office, the Alien pats him on the head and tells him that he has been a very brave boy. After all, he truthfully thought the Alien was evil, and was courageously prepared to lay down his life to protect the human race. But clearly, humans are not yet ready to join the wider galactic community, so everyone is sent back to earth with a jolly good mind-wipe. The amnesiac astronauts tell the boffins that although they believe they saw an Alien spaceship, by the time they landed, it had disappeared; so they turned around and came straight home.

The story ends on another dot-dot-dot moment: George Benson realises that they were actually on the planet for several days and something is being concealed.


II: The Road Less Travelled

Previous Section

Science fiction is about opening doors and looking at things from new angles. I remember the first line of 2001: A Space Odyssey — “behind every human being there stands three ghosts; that is the ratio in which the dead outnumber the living” — far better than I remember the nonsense about monoliths and mad computers. Many young minds were blown by Phillip K Dick or the Matrix long before they knew that grown-up philosophers worried about the mind/body problem. Even a silly schoolboy writer like Edgar Rice Burroughs could be life-changing; not because his science is good — his science is non-existent — but because he gives you permission to imagine what the world would look like from a completely different perspective.

Sometimes you return to a place, or person or a book you knew a long time ago and say: “Oh: that’s where I learned that particular idea. I thought that it was just what I always believed.”

Or, of course “That’s the moment at which I took the wrong turning.”

First Contact?  is the twelfth book in the children’s science fiction saga which began with Blast Off At Woomera. The books contain a little bit of engineering, a little bit of popular astronomy, a lot of narrow escapes and a light seasoning of muscular Christianity. But they have thus far been largely devoid of anything that could be called “ideas”.

But First Contact? contains the biggest possible idea. The book literally reveals the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. And it isn’t a joke or a punch-line. I am pretty sure that Hugh Walters believed it, and wanted his readers to believe it. And for a decade, at least, from the age of eight to the age of eighteen, I did believe it. I had completely forgotten the source: but I took it for granted.

It’s Holy Blood and Holy Grail for infants. 

It’s Olaf Stapleton for Year 4. 

It’s complete codswallop.



I: Current Puns

Strange noises are coming from Uranus. The boffins decide they want a very close look at Uranus. Because no-one has ever seen Uranus before. But it turns out that Uranus is being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's, yet as mortal as our own. 

I don’t think I got the joke when I first read First Contact? There was zero sex-education at primary school: I don’t think I even knew words like “anus” or “penis”. There were the words that were used at home and the words that were used in the playground. And if anyone had laughed I would have priggishly pretended not to understand, because science fiction was very serious and important and grown up.

It’s a very silly joke, because the correct pronunciation isn’t Your Anus; it’s Urine Us.

Sunday, September 29, 2024

The Mystic

Nearly Neptune
by Hugh Walters

"Chris Godfrey and his three companions were dead!"

I suppose Orinoco must still be picking up the litter in some park somewhere and I don't know about it and that makes me feel sad.  The Clangers have had a hundred and four new adventures, of which I have only shared five or six. That makes me slightly sad as well. I haven't thought about Doctor Doolittle or Hal and Roger for decades. Maybe I should see if they are on social media.

Strange, the loyalty you feel to people who don't exist.

Some of our childhood friends grew up with us. Some people think it is terribly smart to say "Doctor Who is just a children's programme" or "Star Wars is just a 1970s B movie" but if they really thought that was true there would be no point in saying it. No-one has ever pointed out that actually Bagpuss is a children's programme.


"Chris Godfrey and his three companions were dead!"

Even at the age of ten, I could see that Hugh Walters had run out of steam. The formula of the series has become narrower and narrower and finally disappeared up Uranus.

It's not hard to see why. Space travel, simply as such, is not very interesting. Four guys in a small box, floating in literal nothingness a long way away from anything else. Space travel stories are mostly not about the getting there, but about what happens when you arrive. And if you don't know very much about planetary physics and have ruled out aliens, one destination is a lot like another.

Is space itself interesting? Hugh Walters occasionally pauses to tell us that it is very big, very black, and has lots of stars in it:

“Though he’d seen it many times before, the vision of space never failed to make Morey catch his breath. Innumerable points of brilliant light shone unwinkingly from every direction. He knew that the void itself, not having the power to reflect light, would be like black velvet, but there were so many stars that he scarcely saw a black patch at all."

There is some implication that the astronauts find just being up there among the sparkly velvet a spiritual experience, or (though Walters doesn't put it like that) an addiction. But I can't help feeling that it would have been safer and cheaper to go and swoon over some Lake District daffodils. Or possibly find a waterfall and have sublime feelings about it. 

When I Was Very Young, I wanted more than anything to be an Astronaut. I think I harmed my Academic Career by insisting on doing science subjects, even though my bent was clearly towards the humanities. "O" Level Biology kept alive the dream of someday being a Space Man. Now I Am Six I read about the nasty rich guy's fantasy of space colonisation and I think "Even if I had a trillion pounds, I wouldn't spend it on being shot into near orbit and floating for a few seconds in a vacuum."

I couldn't have articulated any of this when I was ten, of course. But I vividly remember sitting on the bed in my Granny's spare room reading Nearly Neptune and thinking "They are going to sacrifice their lives for each other. Again. That's all that ever happens in these stories now." Expressions like "jump the shark" weren't in vogue. But you don't have to have an 'A' Level in English literature to spot that the ghost is always the fairground owner in a mask, and Dennis always ends up across his Dad's knee.

Did I stop reading the books? Of course I didn't stop reading the books. Do you imagine that I would allow my friend Chris to go on a space mission without me? But the Tripods increasingly became my drug of choice.

*

"Chris Godfrey and his three companions were dead!"

My four friends are shot in the direction of Neptune in a rocket. There is a technical fault. All seems lost. The ground crew give them up for dead. But with some technical acumen and a last minute intervention by God, they survive, and come back to earth, and start planning for their next trip. Which is to say, the plot of Nearly Neptune is exactly the same as the plot of the previous ten books: but there are no telepathic twins, floating martian ghosts, alien fungi, subterranean eggs or unexplained domes to add spice. There isn't even a Russian saboteur or a nasty boffin who turns out to have a heart of gold.

"Neptune!" Morey exclaimed "Why Neptune?"

Why indeed? One imagines Hugh Walters sitting at his typewriter coming up with titles -- Yacht to Uranus? Unicycle to Uranus? Yodelling On Uranus? -- and then giving up.

"Neptune is more favourably placed" explains Sir George Boffin "it will be several years before we could have another shot at it.

Walters is shamelessly good at dramatic opening lines. Of course I didn't actually believe that Chris or any of his three companions were dead, exclamation mark. True, Stan Lee had taught me that good guys did sometimes get killed off; but I knew perfectly well that entire casts never get wiped out on page one. Still, it was a good hook. And it could have been a good structural twist. Why not skip over the boring set up (briefing, training, launch) and skip straight to the part where there has been a Terrible Disaster and our heroes are facing Certain Death?

But Walters cannot resist the power of The Formula. Admittedly, we spend Chapter One in ground control. Sir George Benson, the chief boffin is "overwhelmed with grief" and Whiskers, the funny boffin is "smitten with deep grief". But Gillanders, the Australian Boffin says that "They accepted the risks openly and cheerfully" and everyone pulls themselves together.

By Chapter Two, we have gone into a flashback sequence. It's rather tiresomely written in the past perfect ("It had been six months before that Sir George Benson sent for his favourite crew") but otherwise it's business as usual. "Rides on the giant centrifuge had been childsplay....They had also to spend periods in hot and cold chambers to test out the insulation of their suits". By chapter three we're seeing the story from Chris's point of view. I suppose there are homeopathic qualities of dramatic irony because we know something is going to go horribly wrong. But something always goes horribly wrong.

*
"Chris Godfrey and his three companions were dead!"

Was Walters a plotter or a pantser? He typed for an hour each morning before going off to the furniture warehouse; and churned out two books each year. Did he write that first sentence knowing why our heroes were (apparently) dead? Or was he one of those writers who just put paper in the typewriter and started to type?

It's rather common in old-fashioned 2-cents a word pulp stories for Heroes to wake up in white rooms suffering from memory loss. They stagger through mysterious doorways into blank white landscapes. They keep drinking coffee or whiskey or in some cases smoking joints. We see the story forming in the authors head and on the page. Douglas Adams posthumous Dirk Gentley novel had the hero just walking randomly around London looking for a case to solve.

Miss Griffiths often told us to write a story on a set subject, say, A Picnic By The Sea or What Would Happen If Jesus Came To Tea. We wrote directly into our exercise books; in long hand with fountain pens, and were expected to finish inside an hour.

Did this first exposure to the idea of "writing" privilege pantsing over plotting? Did the emphasis on neat cursive writing tacitly teach us that revision was cheating? Crossings out were a mortal sin. What kind of writer does that tend to produce? A blocked writer, reluctant to put pen to paper until the perfect sentence has formed in their head? A dull writer, forced safely to write cliche and unadorned prose, with lots of adjectives? It was a beautiful sunny day when there was a knock at my shiny green door. Who should it be but sweet little baby Jesus himself. Would you like a nice cup of hot tea in a red mug I said brightly oh yes please he replied happily? I have always thought that the popularity of J.K Rowling owes something to the fact that her prose is the sort of prose that junior school English teachers would think was good prose.

But maybe the school teachers were unconsciously breeding poets in the mould of Ted Hughes and Alan Ginsburg where first thoughts are the best thoughts, the mind is tethered directly to the writing hand and once the thought fox has left his footprint in the white room it is really too late to change anything?

I think Walters wrote the first sentence at the top of his page, and trusted that the momentum would carry him through the set-up and the first few chapters, and that he would find out what the terrible disaster was at the same time the boffins and the readers did. I think he got to the Midpoint and realised he still had no idea what was going to happen; and said "Oh, soddit. Mechanical failure due to human error."

He drops a little hint that the ship is going to be pierced by a meteor. Holes made by tiny ones are automatically patched, but large ones could portentously puncture the oxygen tanks and the fuel pods. "But this was so unlikely that the possibility could be forgotten". And Walters does, indeed, forget it. The disaster just kind of happens.

"For some unaccountable reason there was a loose connection among the hundreds of wires that were housed within the hypo control casing."

You're the effing writer, Hugh: account for it.

*

The boys wake up from suspended animation. They find that the loose wire has caused a fire, wasting a lot of oxygen and fuel and filling the ship up with smoke. Chris "his chest feeling as if it was ready to burst" goes to the store room and "exerting every ounce of his ebbing strength" he manages to open the locker doors and find some space helmets. He "feels the perspiration running down his face" but "feels a great flood of relief" when he is able to use the space helmets to revive the other astronauts. They temporarily abandon ship. The sight of "the star-spangled heavens" fills Chris "with wonder at its indescribable beauty" but he also shivers when he sees the "vast emptiness surrounding the four astronauts". Everyone agrees that they are "tiny specks of life in a vast hostile universe".

Fortunately, the tiny specks of life manage to get the radio working and tell Mission Control that Chris Godfrey and his three companions are still alive. Unfortunately, the retro rockets are bust, so there is no way of turning the ship round. Fortunately, it would be possible for someone to go out into space, physically push the ship, and allow Newtonian mechanics to do the rest. Unfortunately, the person doing so would shoot himself off into space and never be heard from again. Fortunately, while Chris is nobly sacrificing himself, Tony, the only competent person on board, works out a way of using oxygen to fix the jet packs ("compressed air guns") and the ship is turned around without anyone being deaded. Unfortunately, the journey home will take eight months. Fortunately, Tony is able to fix the cryogenic system. Unfortunately, there are only two functioning chambers. And very unfortunately there isn't enough food for even two crewmen to survive that long. So while two of the crew are in with a good chance of getting home, the other two are quite definitely and irrevocably going to die. Which is very unfortunate indeed.

Walters has backed himself into a corner which raises genuine moral questions about life and death -- questions about the ethics of suicide and euthanasia. Questions about faith and mortality. Chris has been said to be an active church-goer. You might imagine he would at some point say something about heaven. Or ask one of the boffins to read them the Last Rites. I suppose Serge is a godless commie. I know it's a kids' book, but it's a kid's book which is all about dying. And it's rather peculiar about the subject of death. 

George Boffin, on earth, wonders whether to leave the radio connected or not.

"Would it be kind to let he astronauts end their days in privacy? Or should they keep in contact right to the end? Benson didn't think he could stand that."

When he realises that he may have to decide which two get the cryogenic couches, he again seems to focus on his own discomfort:

"Now two only must be selected to live....It was going to be a ghastly job making the decision."

Chris naturally assumes that, as captain, he will sacrifice himself for his crew: and Serge and Morey both beg to be allowed to be one of the ones who cops it. Chris is a little disappointed that Tony is the only one not to volunteer. But of course, once he has completed the repairs, Tony goes off by himself, slips into a space suit, and jumps out of the airlock. Why he bothers with the spacesuit is not entirely clear. But while he "floats in space and lets oblivion come creeping over him" "a feeling of guilt floods over" all the others. They were all planning to leap out of the airlock as well, and are ashamed that Tony got there first. So they all go outside, drag him back inside, and try to have a civilised discussion about the situation:

"I’m sure we’d all be prepared to take a one-way walk into space but we must decide rationally who’s to do it.”

“Have you thought, Chris, how the two survivors will feel?” Serge asked quietly. “I don’t want to be one of them.”

“Nor me,” Morey burst out. “I couldn’t face life with that on my mind.”

Everyone wants to die on behalf of his friends because it would be too painful to know that one of his friends had died on behalf of him. Which makes you think that if they were really heroic, they guys would be offering to stay alive to spare their friends the emotional trauma. I am reminded of the old joke about the sadist and the masochist.) (*) Walters would have been a young child at the end of World War 1 and a young adult at the end of World War II: one wonders if some traumatic survivor guilt is working its way out in these stories? 

When the team learned that they were going to Neptune, they were as "excited as schoolboys". When they thought about the dangers, they were "as gay as schoolboys". Early in the mission, Whiskers told Tony that he would "give him a good hiding" when he gets home if he was not more "respectful to his elders". By my sums, Chris is 37 and Tony is 29. But Walters is still writing them as if they were the adolescent heroes of Blast Off At Woomera and the Domes of Pico. Like the First World War poets, he sees a certain poignant beauty in the idea of young men expiring together before old age and women can spoil them. They carry back bright to the coiner the mintage of man, the lads that will die in their glory and never be old. 

"We've always been together" Tony insisted "And we must be together to the end. Let's step out with arms linked and keep it that way."

In the end, they agree to, er, take it in turns, with two guys spending some time in cold sleep while the others try to survive on as little food and oxygen as possible, and then swapping places. Exactly how this helps, I don't know. I would have thought it introduces a ghoulishly random element, so that the two who are in deep freeze when the others drop dead from starvation get to go home. I suppose it means that no-one has to make the terrible choice. The discussion become even more ghoulish. What's to stop the two chaps who are awake killing themselves as soon as the other two chaps are asleep? They'd promise not too. But wouldn't giving your life for your best friend make it okay to break a promise, even if you'd crossed your heart and pinky promised?

“No, I don’t. If we give our word to each other, that’s more binding than anything,” Chris said.

“But we can easily counter that. We’d all give an undertaking that if any pair of us woke up to find the other two had broken their solemn pledge, then the survivors, too, would step out into space.”

The Russians used experimental dogs to test the early space craft. One wonders whether UNEXA ever used trained lemmings.

And in the end, there is a deus ex machina. Something in the original malfunction has affected the ship's heating system; so the two crewmen who were awake when it finally blows (Chris and Morey, as it happens) are accidentally put into cold sleep. When he introduced the concept, Walters had thought through how cryogenics might work: he talked about little implants to keep the heart functioning an special injections of space anti-freeze to stop the blood from freezing. But it seems that to get our heroes out of a hole, it works just as well to go to sleep in a chilly space capsule.

*

This is the twelfth novel and Chris's eleventh space expedition. Internal chronology suggests that twenty years have passed since his first adventure, and astronauts have to retire at the age of 40. Sir George, who must be close to 65, announces his retirement at the end of this book. Australian Boffin Billy Gilanders takes over as head of UNEXA, and asks Chris to be his deputy. Chris isn't too sure:

"He should have been proud, of course But was he? Was it worthwhile being recommended for this marvellous appointment if it meant the end of his journeys in space? He must take a long, long time before he made up his mind."

This question is considerably more interesting than anything which happens in this morbidly lacklustre volume.



(*) "Please, please, will you beat me?" "No."




Saturday, September 30, 2023

...And None Of Them Were Wearing Eyepatches!

The Mohole Mystery
Hugh Walters


Sooner or later, it had to be faced. Chris Godfrey spent four whole books exploring the Moon; but he whizzed through Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury and Saturn in only five volumes. (He's apparently sharing Mars with some other astronauts; but their expeditions are distinctly Off Stage.) Is the series going to come to a preemptive close after Neptune, Pluto and The One With the Rude Name? Or are there other places where our heroes can confront Certain Death? Walters speculated about interstellar travel when introducing us to the idea of cryogenics; but in the end he shies away from it. He probably wouldn't have done alien civilisations; and crashing into a barren moon on Alpha Centuri wouldn't have been much more fun than crashing into one on Pluto.

So: this time around our heroes take a detour. A journey to the Centre of the Earth. Well; maybe not the centre, but forty miles down. Pretty darn deep, at any rate. It appears that between the earth's crust and the earth's mantel is something called the Mohorovicic Discontinuity, which it is impossible to drill through. So, naturally, the Boffins are trying really hard to drill through it, and they've found a weak spot in, er, Dudley; just near the Castle Zoo, as a matter of fact. (Tony comes from Birmingham, but no-one thinks it polite to say so.) Initial probes have discovered an absolutely ginormous cave, along with traces of nasty alien microbes. So the only option is to send some explorers down and find out what is going on. Sir George also claims that if they don't explore the cave, everyone will have to stop mining coal and drilling for oil and civilisation as we now know it will come to an end: but no-one seems particularly bothered by this.

So: we have an exciting variation on the archetypal Astronaut Goes Up / Astronaut Comes Down plot-line. Astronaut goes down. Astronaut's descent capsule lands awkwardly. Astronaut has no way of getting home and comes to terms with Certain Death. Astronaut's friends mount rescue attempt. Astronauts come up. 

It feels a little slight: the suspicion arises that Walters is engaged in what can only be described as padding. But overall it works better than it should. The comic relief and side plots manage to be a reasonable amount of fun; and the focus on the three heroes left on the surface lends a certain desperation to the plight of the one trapped all alone in the underworld. 

Once or twice, Walters seems to be attempting what I can only describe as humour. The capsule in which our heroes are going to make their descent is manufactured by Rubery Owen, a company who normally make aircraft and racing cars. Our author permits himself to be wryly amused by the formality and self-importance of British Industry.

A magnificent commissionaire, who was obviously also an archduke at the very least, emerged through swing glass doors to bid them welcome...The noble person who condescended to act as a commissionaire, personally conducted the director and his party to the Chairman's private office.

I think that it is probably a mistake to do this sort of thing in a children's book: I am pretty sure the irony was lost on me. If a grown up tells you that some West Midlands car firms are staffed by exiled Russian nobility, at ten years old you are inclined to assume that this is a true and obvious fact.

Wing Commander Gatreux -- "old Whiskers" -- who hasn't been heard from since the Mars adventure, makes a reappearance. His whole purpose in life is to provide comic relief, and he knows it. As soon as he arrives, our heroes start to act like naughty school children, putting an "apple pie bed" in his quarters and laughing at the colour of his PJs. 

He also has a very unreliable car:

It was one of the former officer's main occupations in life to wage a constant battle to keep the Red Peril in running order. Nevertheless it had made the journey from Buckinghamshire to the Midlands without any really vital parts dropping off.

Not, I concede, the funniest joke ever made: but it bespeaks a lighter tone than the previous volumes have had. Silly Whiskers and Stuffy Sir George Benson are a passable double act which adds some much needed light and shade to the roster of faceless boffins. 

And, slightly more surprisingly, the Chairman of RO comes across as, if not quite a character, then at least as an endearing caricature. He starts out as only one degree removed from Reginald Perrin's C.J. He  humourlessly insists that if the capsule is scheduled to be completed by 0320 then it can be tested at 0321. He boasts to the astronauts that he sometimes travels as much as half a million miles in a single year. But when our heroes are facing (SPOILER ALERT) Certain Death, he puts on some overalls and gets his own hands dirty on the factory floor. He even refuses to go to hospital until the rescue project is completed, despite having been involved in a serious industrial accident.

"But you must have an X-ray" the doctor declared firmly. "You may have a broken shoulder and crushed ribs."

"I don't care if I've been decapitated" the industrialist spluttered "I'm stopping on this job. Don't you realise there's a life at stake?"

The shaft that has been drilled from Dudley Zoo to the mysterious cave is very narrow; and there is no time to make it wider; so a single astronaut ("subterrainaut") is going to have to squeeze into a very small capsule and be dropped forty miles into the cavern below. This is one reason why the mission is going to be undertaken by astronauts and not, say pot-holers: they have experience with free-fall. There is quite a lot of not entirely implausible technical detail about how the capsule works:when the altimeter tells the pilot that the capsule is close to the cave bottom, he can activate rockets (using his knees) to slow his descent; and the boffins on the surface will shine an infrared beam down the hole which will guide him home. But only a small astronaut can squeeze into the tiny capsule; and an inordinate amount of time is spent watching our heroes desperately hoping that they will be chosen for this mission. Morrey, being an American, has "broad shouldered" printed on his character sheet and is ruled out from the beginning: Tony and Chris are both a little on the large side. Like Doc Smiths Lensemen, they seem to subsist entirely on a diet of bacon and eggs, steak, and apple pie. But Serge, being Russian, is small enough to squeeze into the tin can. 

This leads to a sub-plot which almost amounts to a shaggy dog story. The aforementioned Whiskers, being ex-RAF is wheeled in to train Serge for the mission. The others join the gym sessions in solidarity and to show they are still a team. Whiskers makes a big deal out of being too old for this sort of thing; and affects to be surprised that there are only four sets of gym equipment, forcing him to sit and watch while the young men do their keep fit sessions. Naturally, Chris sees right through this ruse and finds spare exercise bikes and rowing machines which Whiskers has hidden, shaming the old man to do PE lessons with the lads. But of course, this precisely what Whiskers intended: he knows that working together to catch out the old man will have wonderful effect on the boys' morale. 

Serge is shot down the shaft; and instantly meets with one of those Certain Death Scenarios. The absent-minded boffins didn't realise that all the the debris from their drilling will be piled up on the cave floor. When the capsule lands on the mountain of rubble it topples onto its side, making a return to the surface impossible. (And forty miles of solid rock means he can't radio for help. A shame they didn't have any telepathic twins on hand.) Serge immediately flips into the standard heroic suicidal ideation. 

He would have to compose himself and await his end as calmly as possible.

He would explore the underworld until his oxygen gave out. Then he would die with his courage intact.

He would only have to cut off his oxygen supply and he's soon fade out for ever. Or he would remove his helmet and allow his lungs to be scorched by the searing heat. Valiant Serge shrugged off those unworthy thoughts. It was his duty, instilled in him by years of training, to remain alive to the bitter end...

If he had to die, at least he'd die cleanly...

Serge expects to die of starvation, or for his oxygen to run out; but weirdly and rather arbitrarily, Walters introduces an additional Peril. The Cave is inhabited by a strange life-form which may be a faceless limbless animal but which may also be an unusually mobile mushroom. A swarm of hollow eggs which are capable of rolling up the hill; and which, for no clear reason, are converging on our hero...and which periodically burst and shower him with potentially deadly alien dust. There is something uncanny -- at times very slightly Lovecraftian -- about this idea. But at the same time it feels exactly like the sort of thing you'd get in 1960s BBC TV show. You can just picture the black and white astronaut on the studio floor while BBC special effect eggs on strings move slowly towards him, just before the cliffhanger music kicks in.

No-one seems to have the slightest curiosity about this new life-form: Serge's immediate reaction is to throw stones at it. 

In the end, it is engineering and PE which saves the day. The heroic mechanics at RO jerry-rig a capsule with two compartments; and, crucially, legs, so that it can land safely on the uneven cave floor. And Chris realises that because he joined in Whiskers' gym sessions he has lost nearly a stone and will now fit in the tiny capsule. (I told you there would be a punch line.) So he makes another descent, and drags Serge back to the surface, in the nick of time. The borehole is sealed. No-one tells Chris that he isn't allowed to glance backwards, and everyone seems to have forgotten about the imminent threat to Civilisation. 

Overall, the book is surprisingly effective, even though it is obvious that Walters is sometimes scraping the barrel to find space-filling strategies. ("At Hendon, Serge joined the motorway and was bowling along nicely until he came to the Aylesbury road fork...") But there is something genuinely nightmarish about Serge's predicament; dropped forty miles down into a dark cave he has to chance of getting out of; isloated from your friends; trying to face The End bravely as weird alien animals creep inexorably towards you.

NOTE: Whiskers' got married in Blast Off at Woomera (1957); his children were away at school in Expedition Venus and are now at university, which is consistent with this book being set in 1976 or 77. Spaceship To Saturn, with its 18 month round trip and 6 months of preparation and a longer than usual internal timeline. Earth mainly gave up burning coal for fuel in "the late 60s and early 70s" and the Cold War -- weapons in general -- are now part of "the bad old days". However, the boys bet "half a crown" on a game of snooker and Tony manages to win "eleven shillings" off Whiskers. 



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Friday, September 29, 2023

The Bringer of Old Age

Spaceship to Saturn
Hugh Walters


In 1775, a Dutch American named Rip Van Winkle had slightly too much to drink. He woke up, twenty years later, to find that he had missed the War of Independence. Captain America fell into the Arctic Ocean at the height of World War II and wasn't defrosted until the swinging sixties. His namesake, Anthony "Buck" Rogers fared rather worse, falling into a gas induced coma in 1929 and emerging in the eponymous twenty fifth century.

The idea of suspended animation has been around since forever: but the idea of deliberately freezing people seems only to have come into vogue in the 1960s. In '64, Arthur C Clarke was confidently assuring TV audiences that in the near future Science! would be able to freeze sick people while they were still alive, and keep them on ice until the cure was found for whatever ailed them. In the same year, another science fiction writer, one Robert Ettinger, popularised the idea of cryonics -- freezing corpses in the sure and certain hope of a future resurrection. His book, the Prospect of Immortality, had been self-published in 1962, so Clarke may well have been aware of it. It was commercially published and circulated by the Book of the Month Club in 1964 -- the same year Stan Lee defrosted Captain America.

By the Summer of Love, the idea of cryogenic freezing was distinctly in the atmosphere. EC Tubb published the first of his infinitely prolonged Dumerest series in 1967: it envisages a galactic empire in which impoverished travellers can book "cold passage" in the holds of starships. (It was a major source for the Traveller role-playing game.) In that same year, Doctor Who discovered his enemies, the Cybermen, in frozen tombs on the planet Telos.  Spaceship crews are seen emerging from cold storage at the ends of long space voyages in 2001: A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes (both 1968); and Phillip K Dick uses cryogenics as a means of life-extension in his iconic Ubik in 1969.

It may not be a coincidence that heavy smoking Walter Elias Disney died of lung cancer in December 1966. A few months later (early 1967) a tabloid journalist created the urban myth that Uncle Walt's body had been placed in cold storage and that in 1975, the animator would be reanimated. (He was, in fact, prosaically cremated a few days after his passing.) 1967 was also the year the Pirates of the Caribbean theme-park ride opened: the myth states that Disney's time-capsule is buried beneath it. The spot is presumably marked by an X. 

And it was in that same year Hugh Walters published this tenth volume of his juvenile SF series. On this occasion, he was riding the zeitgeist. He might even have been slightly in advance of it.

*

The central Peril in Mission to Mercury was the cold. The side of the planet facing away from the sun is absolute zero, which is very nearly as cold as it is possible to be. (Does that work? Does a planet which is very close to the sun but permanently facing the other way?) As everyone starts to get quite chilly Tony speculates about whether extreme cold could ever have a practical use.

As he looked again at each of his companions, Tony wondered how long it would be before human beings were deliberately frozen for long voyages. When the break out of the solar system came and Man decided to cross the fantastic distances to the stars, it would be necessary to put the crew into cold storage. Even with the terrific speeds obtainable from the ion motor, the journey to the nearest star would take several years. Scientists believed that by freezing the crew they could save food, oxygen, and -- above all -- boredom. The crew would be automatically de-frosted as the voyage neared its end. To them it would seem that the journey had been a very short one, for they would be unaware of the lapse of time during their period of suspended animation.

The present volume begins with our heroes walking through London's Hyde Park in January (by my count 1973 -- six years in the future.)

"Gosh, it's cold" exclaimed Tony to his three companions.

Walters doesn't really do subtlety. Serge says that it's not as cold as it would be in Russia, and Chris says that it's not as cold as it was on Mercury. When they arrive at dear old Uncle George's offices, he tells them that their next jaunt will be Saturn-wards and that the journey will take some nine months each way. (It only took them twenty days to get to Jupiter, which is only a couple of hundred million miles closer, but who is keeping score?) 

This is obviously going to be quite a problem: how is our author expected to fill a year and a half's worth of pages with character-free astronauts killing time with each other. Very ironically, the solution will be....to freeze them.

I wonder if Walters was consciously foreshadowing Spaceship to Saturn when he allowed Tony to muse about deep-frozen astronauts in the previous volume? Better writers than him strip mine previous books when looking for inspiration for their new one.

Rather endearingly, our heroes have stopped using Junior School level science books to learn about their destinations: nowadays they go to the London Planetarium and have it explained by one of the kindly curators there. The Planetarium is right next to Madam Tussauds: Walters misses a trick by not allowing the boys to drop in and see if Chris's wax effigy is standing in the space occupied by Yuri Gagarin in the real world.

But, as ever, Walters is almost totally uninterested in the planet from an astronomical or scientific point of view. It exists purely as a source of Peril. Space is magical: planets are uninteresting. The journey is everything: the arrival practically nothing. 

Our heroes must be getting pretty frustrated at this point in the careers. While other crews are routinely travelling to Mars and Venus all Chris and his friends ever seem to do is get fired at far-away objects and entirely fail to land on them. 

We are told that there are now a thousand people living permanently on the moon (they live underground and grow algae in tanks) but we get no sense of what an extraterrestrial city looks like. We are told (sensibly) that rockets are now launched from the moon (as opposed to Cape Kennedy or Woomera) because of the lower gravity; but we don't find out what the Saturn probe looks like. You would think that Cool Hardware would be the kind of thing a little boy would want to hear about, but literally all we get is:

The Commander took the astronauts on a moving roadway along a tunnel leading to the launching hall. In the centre Saturn I stood proudly awaiting the finishing touches, its tall, silver shape towering towards the cavern roof.

The launch passes without comment (the crew are asleep) and space is signalled using Walters' standard cliches. ("The black velvet space was sprinkled with countless points of light.... ") Like many a bad poet, he thinks drifting into cod archaisms can be substituted for description: the rings of Saturn consist of "myriads of points of light" and the rings themselves are made up of "myriad points of light". And unlike other visitors to the planetarium, the astronauts have seen the stars "and myriads more" from space.

Once again, the main source of peril for the boys is the force of gravity. The one thing that everybody knows about Saturn is that it has Rings. The Boffins are pretty sure that the Rings are fragments of exploded moons -- myriads and myriads of them, I shouldn't wonder -- or else several myriads of particles of space dust that have been drawn into the planet's orbit. But what doesn't occur to the Boffins until it is too late is that all those myriads of space debris are going to exert a gravitational pull of their own. We are told they have a mass almost as great as the actual planet; so the ship is pulled off course towards Certain Death. 

This week it is young Tony the engineer's turn to say I'm-going-out-and-I-may-be-gone-some-time. At the point at which the ship's course has to be corrected, he's on a space walk, trying to fix a hole made by a stray meteor. If Chris fire's the retro rockets, Tony will die. If he doesn't, everyone will die. And Tony has self-sacrificingly and nobly and recklessly pretended that his radio has broken, so he can't be ordered back on board. ("Two can play at that game, Horatio" he thinks, which is such a good joke that Walters has to explain it to us readers.) Walters uses the usual morbid imagery to drive home how much Certain Death we are dealing with:

If Chris fired the rocket he would be condemning Tony to death instantly...

She shrunk from the task of conveying Tony's death warrant...

It seemed to be writing Tony's death warrant....

The solution is actually pretty dramatic. Chris allows the spaceship to fall towards the planet, giving Tony time, just barely, to get back inside; and then he fires the retro thrusters and does some precision manoeuvring to navigate the ship through Cassini's Devision (the narrow space between the rings) and onward home to earth. 

Which ought to feel somewhere between James Kirk and James Bigglesworth: proper seat of your pants adventure stuff. It needs to be an ILM special effects sequence, or at least a Chris Achilleos cover. But in fact we are pretty much just told what the plan is, that it's hugely risky; but that in the end, it works okay.

In this respect, Walters is probably quite in step with the Serious Grown Up Writers of his day. Your Asimovs and your Blishes are full of mind-boggling concepts like galaxy wide empires and wandering hobo cities...but they never quite get around to telling you what one of their great big ideas would look or feel or smell like.

*

Spaceship to Saturn is almost entirely procedural, and all the better for it. The original Blast Off At Woomera is essentially a novel about a school boy being trained for a space mission; and as the characters become more and more experienced and the missions more and more routine, it's been harder and harder to make pre-launch preparations seem particularly interesting. This time around, Walters spends a full hundred and thirty pages -- two third of the book -- introducing readers to the idea of cryogenic suspended animation, or, as he charmingly calls it hypothermia, a word which makes me think of old ladies who can't afford to pay their central heating bills. 

I'd seen the Planet of the Apes TV show and read comic book adaptations of the movie: possibly I'd even seen Ark in Space. So the idea wasn't exactly new to me. But Walters takes it very slowly -- giving some thought to how "hypothermia" would work; and playing around speculatively with what could be done with it. The cryonic immortalists tend to think that merely freezing a dead person is sufficient -- if you can stop a body decaying, it will be revivable at some point further down the timeline. Walters spots the problems with this and comes up with some solutions. The subject has what is described as "anti-freeze" injected into his body -- otherwise his bodily fluids would freeze solid. He has a small stent fixed into his arm, so that they can pump in just enough oxygen to stop his brain cells dying. A tiny little pacemaker is introduced into his artery, so that the blood carries on circulating even though the heart has been switched off. 

Are you convinced? I certainly was.

Walters is fascinated by the whole idea of suspended animation. What would it feel like? He pushes the idea that being frozen is a kind of non-time -- weeks or months simply edited out of your life. The first time Chris is woken up, he thinks the experiment has been cancelled: he has no sense of having been asleep at all. Tony is intrigued by the idea that repeated periods of deep freeze could result in a child being "older" than its father. "And a man of twenty one, if he were put to sleep for forty-four years, would have his old age pension when he awoke." It would be terrible to wake up and find that your relatives were all old or dead but fascinating to witness all the scientific advances that would have been made in the intervening period. The idea of interstellar travel keeps being raised. Would a spaceship be forgotten during a journey of centuries? No: because there would probably be statues and monuments to the departed astronauts; and because take-off and landing would be automated in the far-future. But the returning astronauts might be themselves museum specimens by the time they return. These are all ideas that whole science fiction stories could, and have, been based on. (The idea of monuments is specifically raised in the opening minutes of Planet of the Apes.) But it was heady stuff if you are ten years old and coming across it for nearly the first time.

Rather neatly, the plot device from the last book is combined with the plot device from this one. The Boffins detect an unexpected meteor shower between earth and Saturn, and very nearly call the whole thing off. The crew can't make course corrections while they are in deep freeze, and the time lag means the boffins can't do it by remote control.

GOOD NEWS: We established last year that telepathy is instantaneous, and Gail and Gill are happy to lend their service to UNEXA again.

BAD NEWS: The twin on the space ship will still have to be frozen, and frozen telepaths just transmit a kind of mental static.

GOOD NEWS: This mental static is affected by external stimuli, even when the telepath is asleep.

SOLUTION: Freeze both girls. Hook them up to EEG monitors. Apply a slight physical stimulus -- a tiny pin prick, not a slap round the face to Girl A, and see the needle on Girl B's EEG reader jump. Given an afternoon's work, the Boffins can sort out a system where the ships remote sensor reading; and Mission Controls course collections can be translated into systems of pin pricks, and voila! instant faster-than-light communication.

We sometimes complained that Star Trek's only female officer was not-much-more than a radio operator: here the only female characters have been reduced to the status of the actual radio set. But it's a weirdly logical solution to a genuine narrative problem, and the idea of an astronaut in cold storage with a big set of electrodes attached to their helmet has a certain Golden Age charm to it. For the electrodes to work, the telepaths have to have a special chemical goo rubbed into their scalps -- which leads to endless, tedious  running jokes about girls, shampoo and hairdressers.

But despite the set up, hypothermia is only a narrative facilitator: nothing actually comes of it in the story. The ship does indeed encounter meteors and the Boffins are indeed able to change its direction via telepathic remote control. The only Peril kicks in when Chris, er, nearly wipes out his entire crew by forgetting to inject them with anti-freeze at the beginning of the return voyage. He wants to admit the cock-up when he gets home and resign, but his friends characteristically say that they are all to blame and should face the music together. Chris reciprocally refrains from tittle-tattling about Tony's lying and disobeying orders when he switched his helmet off.

*

Hopefully, by now everyone has forgotten Planet Narnia. You will recall that Michael Ward theorised at vast length that the seven volumes of C.S Lewis's Narnia series are each themed around one of the seven planets of medieval astrology, and that Lewis hid this fact, and indeed laid a false trail, because he wanted to make a theological point about secrecy. Lewis didn't believe in astrology but he did see the value of the planetary archetypes; so the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is meant to evoke, through its "atmosphere" the concept of Joviality;  the Silver Chair is supposed to invoke a Lunar, and indeed Lunatic ambience. Opinion is divided on the validity of the book. I think it is complete bollocks, but everyone else (including a lot of eminent Lewisians) thinks it's a work of seminal genius.

Now: I find it hard to believe that Hugh Walters knew anything about medieval astrology. He doesn't show that much interest in the romantic or imaginative associations of the planets. He does a whole book about Mars without alluding to the God of War once. (He doesn't even mention the man in the moon, lovers under a blue moon in June, or the possibility of finding green cheese on earth's sattelite.) But he probably studied a smattering of Classics; and would certainly have been familiar with Holst's Planets. You can bet that Chris Godfrey sang I Vow To Thee My Country at his posh school. Your CD of the Planets Suite almost certainly has a NASA photo of Saturn or Jupiter on the cover; but the music is specifically evoking the planet's astrological meanings. Mars is the bringer of War, with all those drums; the ethereal choral music is meant to evoke Neptune, not as a sea-god, but a mystic.

We noticed last time around that Walters' Mission to Mercury was very much concerned with the problem of sending messages home when you are several light-minutes away from earth; and that mythologically Mercury is the messenger of the gods. I was happy to write this off as coincidence. The whole point of astrology is that any symbol can be convincingly applied to a wide variety of different circumstances. But turning to the latest volume, I am not so sure. 

The very minor character on whom the hypothermia process is first tested, is amused because he is now technically younger than his twin brother. Gail and Gil are concerned that if they go on the mission, they will miss their twenty first birthdays; and are adamant that they are both frozen for the exact same length of time as each other; otherwise they won't be twins any more. There is speculation about using cryogenics as a system of time-travel. And when the idea of hypothermia goes public, a millionaire offers a fortune to use it to infinitely prolong his own life. His scheme is to be frozen, and then woken up for one day a century.

Our heroes are getting older: Chris can hardly be less than 33, and we've been told that 40 is the compulsory retirement age for astronauts. It would be a stretch to suggest that in this book, what is dragging our heroes to certain death is not myriads and myriads of tiny moonlets, but Time itself -- their own mortality, represented by the planet Cronos. But it is hard not to notice that a book so much preoccupied with the passage of time, with birthdays, and in particular with the cessation of the aging process is named after Holst's Bringer of Old Age.






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